A loner's Ravings

I have been meeting with people who have more reason to feel lonely than I. But their loneliness seems to be the loneliness of the body and sometimes of the mind. It is hard to explain the loneliness of the spirit. Because the spirit is beyond verification. It is even more difficult to understand why the spirit should feel lonely. I mean, it is not confined. It is totally free. But the spirit detached from the One is lonely. Who is that One? I am not speaking about the one in matrix. Although Matrix does come rather close to illustrating some profound truths.

I haven't blogged for quite some time now. It is not because I haven't found any cause for not blogging. Maybe the cause found me-if you don't mind that much profundity in an opening statement. Loner's status does not terminate abruptly. In spite of Prozac or whatever. The real nuts out there know what I am talking about. The days these days are more dreary, less worthy of anything whatsoever, much less blogging. And words fail me. I am not quite in the WS (of Avon).class. Of course that is ego. maybe a small one, but ego nonetheless. By my standards. So what should I do? Angry Birds? Don't make me laugh and hit you at the same time. If you are not reachable, I don't want to hit myself. I don't want to hurt myself, you see. Not when I am in the wrong phase.

It rained and rained all day. The rivers swelled, the rivulets roared merrily. The patter of rain drops on the water which covered the earth was like the laughter of a demon.

I write this after a long while. The torment of meaningless existence increases day by day. I do not know what to do.

I am getting those "jitters" again. Not really palpitation, not really anything at all. Just feeling sort of lonely.

I am not really getting worried/worked-up/whatever. But somebody asked me recenty if I have Parkinson's. What do you know !! Maybe that was the problem all along. If so this blog should get interesting as the days merge into years and I into eternity.

I am not sure I want to write anything here. Dark Angel, you win. You have taken too much from me, my friend.