A loner's Ravings

He spent much time wondering just how big Big is. After years of contemplation on this topic he concluded Big is too big for him to think meaningfully about anymore. So instead he asked himself how small is Small. He reasoned that like temperature there has to be some kind of lower limit to how small something can get, even if there is no upper limit on Big. He looked deeper and deeper into the meaning of small and realized he had no idea about that either. He spent a good deal of time reading what the masters had written on Big and Small. Then he realized, they had no idea either. So now his problem became different. If one cannot comprehend either the very Big or the very Small, then what can one comprehend, except that which is hopelessly sundry, hopelessly commonplace and mundane. Such as life. Or death. Or happiness and sorrow. Or even loneliness. Does happiness have a structure? Or sorrow for that matter. Sure, they are chemical transmissions in the brain of humans and may be som...

The dreams keep on coming. I wish I could shut them out. Unlike Plato I don't think I have any confusion about what is reality and what is a dream. I know that life is a dream, a bad dream. Maybe I should be trying to shut reality out! Not the dreams. By the way, does Infinity have magnitude.

Is theology a contardiction in terms ? Is it possible for a mere mortal to study God. I wonder, like so many before me, how any one can be arrogant enough to think that God, if it exists, can be comprehended by man. I woud have thought that by definition God is incomprehensible. So any study in that direction is futile and bound to fail.

Those who believe God, the guy with the capital G, exists could say that He, again with a capital H, bountifully compensates whatever He chose not to give in His infinite wisdom. Ours not to question why he chose not to give or to compensate. It is His pleasure. If a mere mortal could comprehend the working of the infinite it would cease to be infinite, being bounded by our own knowledge. So I just let myself be amazed by the gifts as well as the warnings from a source I can never hope to understand. Maybe it is His subtle if painful way of revealing His presence.

I remember you again, this day. Like I do almost everyday. The secret joys and the everlasting sorrows I remember you with a pain so profound Words make no sense. The silence of life Like the calm lake Hiding all the horrible secrets In her bosom I sit beside the calm water Dark and ominously silent Yearning. You cannot come. And yet I have not the heart to call this Final.

Constant noises populate the utter silence of my life. No, not the life you would encounter in case you met me. The deeper, inner life that every person has to deal with alone. I sometimes wonder how I communicate at all with all the people, given that I have so little in common with them. No, I do not forget those who have added kind comments on my blog. That shows, maybe humankind has some kind of future. (Whatever that means!). Not because some people have nice words for a loner. But because such people exist at all. Maybe they belong to the next stage of evolution. Some kind of super human beings with the topology of ordinary mortals.

Looks like it is going to last for some time. This silence.