A loner's Ravings

Today was real bad even by my standards. We had a fight so bad we are practically in hell now. I said something. I know that. It is just that I have no idea what i said. Sarcasm doesn't go down well with some people. Odd thing , this tongue.

I have this gift. I can blow any relationship to pieces. Just like that. I have no idea how I manage to do that, but I think I might have blown this one too. Let the yearning stay. Nobody could care less !! I don't know what I did wrong. I guess I must have done something wrong. Oh, all right, you can go your way. I do't think I care all that much anyway .

The old insomnia is back again. You see I tried stopping the medicines. I guess I am stuck with those pills for life. Anyway I think I will try not to take any right now. Let me see how long I am going to stay awake.

What is love? I don't need it. But the yearning Refuses to go away.

It is almost a week since I wrote anything here. Are you wondering why? Guess. May be it is the medicines? Just when I thought I had it all figured out, everything goes out of gear again. What a life !! I dont think the shrinks know anyhting about it. They are just taking you along for a ride. At your expense. Fever doesn't improve life any. Neither does cold. I may not be very prolific, but I sure am ponderous , dont you agree !!

It has been sometime since I wrote anyhting here. Not deliberate you know. I wasn't feeling bad enough to write about. But today is different. I have got a nasty cold and fever. The weather looks stupid. And I cannot reach her. That isn't new. And it isn't news. But this is the kind of day I feel I have to write something.