A loner's Ravings

It has been sometime since I wrote anyhting here. Not deliberate you know. I wasn't feeling bad enough to write about. But today is different. I have got a nasty cold and fever. The weather looks stupid. And I cannot reach her.

That isn't new. And it isn't news. But this is the kind of day I feel I have to write something.

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Maybe loneliness implies detachment. This is not what an old comment on this blog says. It says loners are basically asocial beings with some hidden grudge in thier minds. I don't think so. May be there are loners of that version out there. But detachment is the phrase that has been on my mind for some days now. The true meaning of detachment is way beyond me. Embracing emotions, experiences. I don't know. May there is something in that.

What is normal? I am not normal. Every one says so. I know it myself. What I don't know is, what is normal anyway. Everything is the same. For me. For them. But then how come I am the one who is not normal ! Beats me.

Today was not particularly bad as days go. I had my usual share of being alone. Deep in the madding crowd. Sometimes I wonder who among the multitude teeming around me are actually of my special category - loners. We don't tell each other you see. And when we do tell, we use odd names, hmm. like loner2. My other life, the one everyone assumes is my real one, went off as usual. The same old crowd. The same old nonsense uttered all around. Everyone pretending to be the best guy or gal on the planet. Man, it is quaint. Oh, I forgot to mention this one. I need to tell about my dreams. Some people would call them nightmares. So brace yourself for some weird posts. Most of them are going to be disjointed, 'cause like most people I don't remember the dreams in full. But unlike Plato, I do know they are dreams. Maybe they ARE dreams. In fact I believe they are dreams. Just dreams.