A loner's Ravings

The beginning was sibling rivalry. Believe it or not. It is true. The brother's couldn't agree. So all the people died. Not in hundreds, not in thousndas. They lay dead in the hundreds of thousands. Killed in combat, Because the siblng's couldn't agree!

The smell of blood hung heavily In the air, the ground, the soul. The air thick with screams and groans. The silence of the night rent By the wimperings of the dying, The lucky ones were already dead, And half eaten by the creatures of the night. Who snarled as they bit pieces off the live. What was all this for? Don't tell me about victory.

He was dying. No question about that. He wished the agony would be over. It had to be soon. The arrow was poisoned. And how it hurt! More than the pain of the wound on his body, what hurt most was the terrible lie of which he had been part. Which actually he had made up. And now so many, so many had paid for that Lie. But was there any choice? Does God have any choice? The lie had to be. And the payment had to be made.

The exodus commenced. There was no room for hope. So they left. Some chose to stay back, Foolish beings. Nothing will be left of them. Not a trace. Nor a tear dropped over their extinction. The thunder grew ever so louder. What made them stay back? The trees are gone. The lakes and rivers lie dead. The soil weeps red tears. Yet they remained. The fools. Knowing they stood not a chance. Knowing there could be just one ending. Hats off, to you, Brave fools.

There is something abrupt about loneliness. You are lonely. That is all. Nobody, but nobody gives a damn. It is you and your eternal companion, like that guy, Selkirk. But think of the bright side. You don't have to put up with all the bums who would otherwise be sitting on your shoulders. Face it, Man. There is no way out. Yeah. I know, that sounds like a tag line. That is not my fault. Life itself is a tagline.

It is night, and I can hear thunder far away. It is far away, but it is coming closer. I can feel it. I cannot see the lighning. But I know, that soon the thunder will be here.

It is night The distant noises have ceased Maybe for today. Maybe forever. I can hear the deadly silence Wrapping around me Fondling me like a lover. There is some deadly calamity Hanging all around me. How do I handle this. What can I do when I do not understand what is gong on.

Today is a bad day even by my standards. I feel so down, I have to force myself to write all this nonsense, garbage. One dream collpased. That is nothing. Dreams collapse all over the place everyday. The problem now is I have my own doubts about what really collapsed. I suspect it was reality. I don't feel real any more. It is a dream. It just refuses to go away. I know, it is a dream. It has to be. I am for real, right? What in the name of all that is unholy possessed me? What is life. Huh? What is it anyway? The blooms are done for. The jays that so merrily flew around and talked so much. I cannot see them any more. The waves and ripples of the lake wound me right down to my soul. Why am I here. What am I supposed to do, to be. What did I do. What went wrong.

What do you know !! Today was better than most days. Every one I talked to told me I am nasty. And as far as I know I did't do anything nasty. Or say anyting nasty. Or even think anyhting nasty. Glorious, man, glorious.

Dreams howl in my head. And I don't know if they are dreams Or reality. The same problem old Plato had. But reality has become rather more harsh. How about sleeping and Never ever waking up again. The bones crumble and powder away. And the worms eat away the rest of you. And the red giant will not have the pleasure of frying your ass. That is one consolation.

The night popped up Like a lover from sleep. The owls and other unknown inmates Called out to my soul. I seemed to hear that sweat voice Bekoning me in silence To join them In their dark and eternal pleasures. In the wonder of night What holds me back?

Life is like coffee Tastes best, strong black and without sugar But take that and you fall ill Although it does take a lot of coffee to do that. Unlike life.

Today was bad. When I say bad, I mean bad. Like in nasty, stupid, screwy. Whatever. Got that hell of an anger frothing and gnashing within me. It is very well talking about life and dignity and you know what, nobody, but nobody, really gives a damn. Not that I care.

What do you mean talking about marriages? Not the kind that is made in heaven. They went dead long ago. Anyway, what is a loner-too doing talking about marriages. But frankly, I don't get it. Just what is a marriage? Union of two souls. Bullshit is too milld for that crappy description. Propagation of species, and thanks to the long time human prgogeny need to grow up enough to make nuisances of themselves, so the gals need the guys around. So? Isn't sex enough for that, although guys do float around rather. And who is dumb enough to say that sex is all for procreation. Kids are an accident, right? Deep stuff this. Way beyond me anyway. Maybe some of you other wisecracks out there can enlighten the world about this. I give up.

What did Hammurabi think of marriage? So what is marriage after all. A legal contract under the common law, A mechanism for screwing up more than one life at one go Whichever way you look at it. So isn't it time to ban marriages, I mean all of them. Let the kids grow up as the common asset of humankind. So, what is new? Huh? Ever read Marraige and Morals? That was one chap with his head screwed on all right.

The silent screams of sleep Seeps out of my being. What? Would I be immortal. I already am . The crumbling buildings, The smoke , the noises. The death and the decaying bodies All around. Yeah, dude. I love this This is life.

The endless eons of darkness Stretching out Like a bad program. Crumbling hopes And buildings And death. Greatness. That is the word I was looking for !

The noises of sleep. Brimmming from my being, Fills my dark days with Tidings of more sleepless eons. Screams of the silent ones, Splitting my ears. Hopes and life all gone. Glory to thee .

What is power? The power to create, or destroy. The power to wipe stuff out. The power to snap your fingers at the big bang. Funny, The kind of things you think about When you cannot sleep !!

Life sucks. That isn't new. Don't we all know that. The trouble is, life these days sucks you absolutely dry. I have nightmares, just thinking about sleeping. When I sleep and those creepy things cuddle up I realize I am one of them too. Another creep. Am I responsibble? Do I owe it to anyone to say sorry for things I never did, But did't dare to protest in time. When sleep is terror, what are your options?