Tuesday, August 24, 2004
The Unholy Dream
Today is a bad day even by my standards. I feel so down, I have to force myself to write all this nonsense, garbage.
One dream collpased. That is nothing. Dreams collapse all over the place everyday. The problem now is I have my own doubts about what really collapsed. I suspect it was reality. I don't feel real any more. It is a dream. It just refuses to go away. I know, it is a dream. It has to be. I am for real, right?
What in the name of all that is unholy possessed me? What is life. Huh? What is it anyway?
The blooms are done for. The jays that so merrily flew around and talked so much. I cannot see them any more. The waves and ripples of the lake wound me right down to my soul.
Why am I here. What am I supposed to do, to be. What did I do. What went wrong.