A loner's Ravings

The odd thing about depression is that you cannot speak,write or even blog when you are depressed real bad. See you all later.

Death can be so peaceful, or so gruesome. I thought I could tell when it is peaceful and when it is gruesome. Now I know I was wrong. The lady pulled out her tracheostomy tube right in front of me, turned blue and expired. People were screaming, Some staring in silent disbelief, At death, so near. But her face, Pallid and blue at the same time, A strange color you don't often see, Her face was so peaceful. As if she had finally done what she had always wanted to do, As if she was done with all the nonsense that was being done to her body And she seemed to be smiling in her death with her eyes open. And I am sitting here, confused beyond words. And an image that refuses to go away.

Happiness is different when it catches you right in the pit of despair. Even the small crumbs are like manna. How does you express what you feel. Thank you? So trite. Come on you can do better.

Still , silent and stubborn, The darkness relentless, Grips my soul, in clammy glee. The Stark white snow is slowly melting away The wavelets are back, No longer scared frozen. All my kin are here Each in its own silent domain Each wondering in eternal silence As we of the dark always do, What the others are upto. That is the way of life in the land of the lonely Lonely and unwanted, Mostly fondling dreams, Everlasting dreams.