A loner's Ravings

It gets tiresome after a while. To keep on and on about loneliness, depression, mood swings. Surely there is more to life than mere whining. Like some one said in a respone to a previous post in this blog, loners are basically selfish people, thinking about themselves all the time. I am beginning to think that he had a point there. I mean, what the heck, people are suffering all over the place and here are the glorious loners of the world wallowing in self pity. And all that is bothering us, self styled loners, is some chemical in the neural network of the brain gone nuts. Great!! But on second thoughts, what are blogs for. I mean personal blogs. If I cannot open up here, where on earth can I do that. The whole problem with being a loner is that he/she is not quite given to socializing. So along came blogs and did we jump on to that ! In the process, people who would die rather than confess to personal problems in their normal, 'real' life open up like hurricanes and whine. I...

All right, I am back. Not exactly the greatest event of the month or whatever. But here I am. For whatever it is worth. I am told that physical exercise is good for the mind. Even delays Alzeimer's. May be it does, maybe the blood supply to the brain increases and you perk up. Like a watared plant. I have to try that out. So what has been happening in the blog world of loners and depressives. Not much, I see. Some comings and some goings, Eventual return to wherever you sprouted from. Dust or whatever. Great. Same old world. Real life is so unreal

I had an unusually bad bout of depression. So I really couldn't force myself to even sit in front of a monitor and watch myself rant and snivel. Now I think I am coming out of that. Partly at least. This is bad. This thing called depression. Even the knowledge that you are not alone in enduring the numbness is barely sufficient consolation. But I must thank those did bother to read my blog even when it was not being updated. Hey, Rain, special thanks to you, friend.

I thought I had a fairly good idea what my life is all about. But now I am confused. It sounds silly to ask, you know, questions like meaning of life and meaning of death. People have been at this ever since civilizatiion began. And we are about as close to the answer as the cavemen were. Trust me. I am not going nuts. (Although sometimes, I am not so sure). What is going on. Why am I so badly confused.

2006. 2005. Difference 1. That is about all.

Before you start making all those New year resolutions, look back on the year past. Just check if you have kept your part of the bargain called life. I have this sinking feeling that I haven't been quite honest with life. I also have a worse sinking feeling that I am going to be the same in 2006 too. I am not really into New Year resolutions. Most of them are just expressions, figures of speech so to say. Promises you cannot possibly keep. I dislike people who don't keep promises, even if it is myself. No, I am not preaching. I am just trying to tell myself that it won't do any harm to try and be rather better next year, any year. That is about the worst New Year resolution I have heard !

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein I am talking about myself.