A loner's Ravings

Maybe loneliness implies detachment. This is not what an old comment on this blog says. It says loners are basically asocial beings with some hidden grudge in thier minds. I don't think so. May be there are loners of that version out there. But detachment is the phrase that has been on my mind for some days now. The true meaning of detachment is way beyond me. Embracing emotions, experiences. I don't know. May there is something in that.

Here is something I heard recently. Detachment is forgiveness. Yes, I did mention this on this blog the very day I heard it. I was baffled then. I am still baffled. Maybe somebody out there can help out, tell me how the two (detachment and forgiveness) equate. Just what is this detachment anyway. The subtitle of this blog reads "A fusion of fears- mythical and current". Detachment is something I encounter often enough in the mythical part of my life. As the opposite of attachment, although Synonym.com is apologetic about the antonym of attachment or detachment, that would seem to imply a lack of involvment in the events that intrude into your life. I don't mean to say that one could rise above the involvement. No way. But detachment is something a true loner knows inside out. But forgiveness. What is that. What do you forgive. Debts? Hurts? Cruelty. Come on. I haven't ever seen anyone yet who has truly forgiven anything. Maybe such saints do exist somewhere. Ultima...

Detachment is Forgivenss. Really !! Wow. That is news. More on this later.

The full splendour of solitude is never evident except to those whose voices are never heard. Not even in the realm of blogs. The loneliness of pain. The loneliness of utter old age. The loneliness of failure. The helpless isolation of the spoke in a wheel. Solitude comes in many flavours. Emptiness is just one of its many faces. There is also the heavy stuff. The one that crushes you down. The odd thing is most of the time you are surrounded by faceless humanity. But who cares. It is the other guy after all, not you.

When winter gets ready to pack up and leave I feel sad. It is a bit like a faithful friend departing. I know, he will be back. Even when I am not here anymore he will definitely be back. Looking for old buddies. Draped in the white he loves. With his heart all cold as ever. Making you wish he won't be so constant. And then leaving you feeling nostalgic. I am sure the grim reaper is white. That is not the color he is usually portrayed in, but what else can it be, but white. Maybe he even has a dove for a pet.

Being friends is like losing weight. The tough part is remaining that way. Gosh ! How deep can a person get!

Solitude is addicting. You get to love the feeling of being all alone and unwanted so much that you actually feel the pain of company pretty bad. Nights and days and weeks merging into eons of utter silence. Peek into my soul and I see the darkness of eternity smirking back.